Do Lies Lead to Truth?
Consider our scenario from the previous post: your son asks for the fourth time if you’ll take him by his favorite fast food place for dinner. You go from zero to sixty in less than a second: “I told you about ten times we are NOT going out to eat. Quit asking!”
And then revisit again what you made that mean and expose the lie by telling the truth.
It means he is not happy. It actually means he is not happy RIGHT THIS MOMENT.
It means that I am a bad mom. It actually means I am a mom who raises her voice from time to time.
It means he is a terrible child that won’t ever be happy with what I give him. It actually means he is human and gets to choose his reaction to your assertiveness as a parent.
It means I cannot both make him happy and stay within my budget. It actually means you have taught him that you are okay when he is angry with your decisions. It also means choosing to stay within your budget is a priority to you and that he can learn from this example.
It means he is a spoiled child that thinks he can beg to get what he wants. It actually means he is acting in a developmentally appropriate way and has high hopes to change your mind. That’s normal.
It means I have not taught him well. And that means I’m a failure. It actually means you ARE teaching him well RIGHT NOW about how we don’t always get what we want, even if you decide later to apologize for raising your voice. It also means that you are human and can use this opportunity to learn and grow. When there’s been a lesson, failure evaporates. Wisdom reigns.
Exposing all those lies helps us to own our truth and see more clearly. Hallelujah.